Lots has happened in 1 month. I finished my 1st half marathon. It was crazy. I thought I was going to cry at mile 9 and 10! But despite walking for over 1 year I really wasn't prepared as I should have been. Plus I got a blood blister on the BOTTOM of my foot. Yeah that was fun. NOT! So I decided that from now on all things I do need to have some purpose. When I grow up I want to work with some philanthropic companies. So I decided to kill 2 birds with 1 stone. I want to train, really train for another 1/2 marathon. I also want to raise some money. So I've joined team in training. I raise $2200 for the LLS. Excited and nervous are a few feelings I'm experiencing right now!
Other than that, we're just busy. Still really struggling with our great loss. Not a day goes by that I don't think of Sherry, Christopher and Macy. Sherry was barely 38. I'm her same age right now. The thought of dying along with my first born and youngest is just incomprehensible. It scares me. I'm frequently in the car with all my kids just as she was. That scares me. Life is just so fragile. Barry is still not coping well. Really, how do you? A loss this big will always be felt, we're just trying to get through the days. I frequently play the songs from the slide show. The words from "Homesick" really speak to me. So many verses feel as if they're taken right out of my thoughts.
You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you
But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry Is how long must I wait to be with you
I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now
Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways
The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know
But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same
Cause I'm still here so far away from home
I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now
In Christ, there are no goodbyes
And in Christ, there is no end
So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
To see you again
To see you again
And I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now
Miss those 3 dearly. I think I'm mostly missing what was to come. Christopher going to college, getting married and having kids we could love on. Sherry and us were just beginning to be able to get together more. We were planning on more vacations together. Macy, sweet Macy was just 5. Her whole life. I'm mourning all of that more than anything.
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