Just another day

So Barry forgot Gavin's parent teacher conference. As a teacher I KNOW what is going through Miss Desi's mind. "freakin parents can't get their crap together and poor Gavin suffers" Yeah, that's what I think sometimes. But it is a Christian preschool so she probably just prayed for us, lol. Yup, I feel like a crappy parent. Sometimes life gets in the way. UGH. So I get home and again, Barry has more work to do so I take the little ones to swimming. They're fine. I'm a bit irrtated that I have to take them and not Barry as I had planned. Oh well. I'm on my way home and ready to go to Ash Wednesday Mass. But since the timing of swimming lessons ran to close to 6pm Mass I missed it. We missed it. I'm again feeling crappy. Gotta love Catholic guilt. I know it's not a Holy day of obligation but I really wanted to go. Why oh why can't I get it together? I get home, cook the dream dinners meal I had defrosted, call the family to eat. Wait what? They've already eaten. Yeah, they were expecting to go to church so when I was at swimming with the kids Barry fed them. Is this day over YET? So I decide to unwind with yoga, sounds fantastic right? Well as I was getting into downward dog my own big 110 lb dog does his own stretch, yawns and gives me a nice wet kiss. Ick. Then he lays right next to my mat. All the while Brooklyn is doing the poses with me. At one point I was trapped on my mat. Brooklyn is glued to me, Fritz is on the other side and overtaking my mat. While I'm focusing on my breathing Brooklyn keeps asking while she is 2 inches from my face "Mommy you do esercise?" Yup, I started laughing and gave up. This is definitely a Calgon day! just 2 more days until Friday...........

4 day weekend

Thank You President Lincoln and President Washington for allowing us to have a 4 day weekend. As a teacher I really NEED these 4 days!

Lots has happened in 1 month. I finished my 1st half marathon. It was crazy. I thought I was going to cry at mile 9 and 10! But despite walking for over 1 year I really wasn't prepared as I should have been. Plus I got a blood blister on the BOTTOM of my foot. Yeah that was fun. NOT! So I decided that from now on all things I do need to have some purpose. When I grow up I want to work with some philanthropic companies. So I decided to kill 2 birds with 1 stone. I want to train, really train for another 1/2 marathon. I also want to raise some money. So I've joined team in training. I raise $2200 for the LLS. Excited and nervous are a few feelings I'm experiencing right now!

Other than that, we're just busy. Still really struggling with our great loss. Not a day goes by that I don't think of Sherry, Christopher and Macy. Sherry was barely 38. I'm her same age right now. The thought of dying along with my first born and youngest is just incomprehensible. It scares me. I'm frequently in the car with all my kids just as she was. That scares me. Life is just so fragile. Barry is still not coping well. Really, how do you? A loss this big will always be felt, we're just trying to get through the days. I frequently play the songs from the slide show. The words from "Homesick" really speak to me. So many verses feel as if they're taken right out of my thoughts.

You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times

And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you

But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry Is how long must I wait to be with you

I close my eyes and I see your face

If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place

Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now

Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways

The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know

But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same

Cause I'm still here so far away from home

I close my eyes and I see your face

If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place

Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now

In Christ, there are no goodbyes

And in Christ, there is no end

So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have

To see you again

To see you again

And I close my eyes and I see your face

If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place

Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now

Miss those 3 dearly. I think I'm mostly missing what was to come. Christopher going to college, getting married and having kids we could love on. Sherry and us were just beginning to be able to get together more. We were planning on more vacations together. Macy, sweet Macy was just 5. Her whole life. I'm mourning all of that more than anything.